What is spiritual direction?
The religious quest is not about discovering 'the truth' or the 'the meaning of life' but about living as intensely as possible here and now . . . not to 'get into heaven' but to discover how to be fully human. — Karen Armstrong.
Spiritual direction is the practice of giving attention to your own spiritual life, while someone (me) offers compassionate, confidential, and delighted listening.
People usually come to spiritual direction once a month for an hour. It is time to become alive to the transcendent meaning found in the specifics of your own life. It’s a space where you find a deeper intimacy with everything around you.
My title of “spiritual director” is somewhat of a misnomer. I am not giving you “directions.” My role is to offer “spiritual hospitality,” a space where you aren’t being manipulated, fixed, or evaluated. I am not teaching, telling, or guiding you. Instead, I’m listening while you discover the holy in you.
A spiritual director is someone in your life who has no agenda for your improvement or reform — Richard Rohr
I welcome you on your path
“What is going on in your innermost being is worthy of your whole love.” - Rilke
I serve the “spiritual, not religious,” those who may not go to church or synagogue, but still seeking something more than the superficiality of modern culture to find a deeper sense of the world and themselves. I sit with those who sense there is a way of holding the paradox of living in the everyday world while knowing there is something beyond it, an ineffable Whisper of transcendent meaning. I welcome you to go beneath the surface.
OK, right. But what do we do in spiritual direction?
There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen. - Rumi
Spiritual direction is mostly listening into yourself, in silence and presence. So going to a spiritual director is choosing to spend one hour, once a month, with an intention to attend to what’s sacred in You. In this relationship, I set myself aside to whole-heartedly listen. I may “poke the fire,” and ask the kind of questions that give you a chance to discover your own truth, in your own time. We spend 60 minutes in contemplation, usually on a question you bring in, in dialogue with parts of you stirring within. The hope is that you will see the world more abundantly, creatively, and graciously.
Religious traditions all have a different name for it: soul, Inner Teacher, Great Spirit, Inner Light, God, Atman, the True Self. Within you is a still, small voice whispering a deeper wholeness and coherence in your life. But nothing is sacred until you give it attention. As a spiritual director, I am relatively unafraid of life with all its light and darkness, all its mystery. Spiritual direction is taking the time, simply and mindfully, to listen and embrace all within you: grief, disappointment, and pain, as well as hope, faith, and joy.
As a spiritual director, I’m helping you direct yourself towards the Light within you. The tools of the trade are questions and silence, presence and listening. It’s a simple, life-affirming practice.
“When all of you is present, the banquet will begin.” Richard Rohr
How is that different from therapy or coaching?
Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you. - Anne Lamott
Spiritual direction is not therapy and is not a substitute for therapy. With therapy or coaching, you come in with a issue to fix or something you want to improve. You’re trying create change or achieve something. The goal in therapy or coaching is to be able to heal dysfunction or function better. In spiritual direction, there’s no trying. There’s nowhere to go, nothing to fix, nothing to change. The only goal is to accept, and welcome, everything within you.
“I was born when all I once feared I could love.” - Rabia of Basra
We’ve spent so much of our lives under a hidden agenda of trying to be loved. So much efforting, pleasing, and achieving to alleviate our self-doubt, or shore up our facade. To paraphrase the Irish poet Galway Kinnel, spiritual direction is reteaching yourself of your own belovedness.
Jesus said the kingdom of God is within you. Buddha talked about the enlightenment (“in-light”) already within you. Belinda Carlisle sang, “Ooh heaven is a place on earth.” Spiritual direction is to become alive to that, in your current life. There’s no nirvana to reach, no final awakening to achieve. The practice is to be more alive: to see and live more sufficiently, creatively, and graciously.
The world, and your life, is your field of practice.
