About Me
“It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.” - Erma Bombeck
Welcome! My name is Douglas Tsoi and I am a spiritual director and financial-spiritual coach. I typically serve people who consider themselves “spiritual, but not religious,” people who don’t want to belong to a religious institution, but still want to explore what is means to live spiritually, and honestly, in the world, especially with their money.
A little of my background: I grew up Seventh Day Adventist, but it never stuck and I stopped going to church when I left for college. Very early on, I made a commitment to live simply for financial, spiritual, environmental, and philosophical reasons. In my 20s, after a layoff/firing as a corporate technology lawyer in San Francisco, I discovered Quaker silent worship and had what I would consider the first authentic spiritual experience of hearing that still, small voice within me. I moved to Pennsylvania and taught history at a Quaker boarding school for four years. Teaching, worshipping, and living in a spiritual community was a transformative experience and I deepened my commitment to live in voluntary simplicity, integrity, and stewardship.
In my 30s, I moved to Portland, Oregon and became a sustainability officer for the government. After a particularly painful breakup, I went through a deep depression for a number of years. During that time, I was not suicidal, but I would say that I didn’t care if I lived or died. During that “dark night of the soul,” the only times I felt normal was when I was playing soccer or seeing my spiritual director, Jack Kennedy, a former Jesuit priest. I will forever be grateful for his care and concern during that period.
I was laid off from my sustainability job in 2015 and realized that I hit financial independence at age 42 because all my life I had lived simply and saved and invested. So I founded and ran a school for lifelong learners, Portland Underground Grad School, which I later sold in 2018. Currently, I teach Financial Freedom, write about the intersection of personal finance and spirituality on the Substack newsletter Money and Meaning, run a website called The Appreciation Effect, hold events like the Gratitude Dojo, and run experiments in reparative economic justice.
During the pandemic, I trained as a Franciscan spiritual director, initially not to become a spiritual director, like Jack Kennedy, but because I wanted spiritual community. But in practicum, I found that sitting with people as they talked about their spiritual lives as a spiritual experience in and of itself. In addition, I have studied Eastern religion: Buddhism, Taoism, and the yogic traditions. I had a number of mystical experiences with psychedelics. I have partially completed training to become a hospital chaplain to be with the sick and dying.
My overall goal is to help people participate in grace.
My role in your spiritual journey
“This is the first, the wildest, and the wisest thing I know: that the soul exists and is built entirely out of attentiveness.” — Mary Oliver
I offer professional, confidential, holy listening for you on your spiritual journey. My goal is to create a regular, one-hour “sanctuary in time” for you to sit with, and attend to the challenges and joys of a spiritual life.
Quakers describe it “continuous revelation,” the truth is continually revealed to us and we are continually learning. I believe we spend our entire lives learning of own internal Belovedness. In that knowledge, may you experience the freedom to do what you will.
I would love to live
Like a river flows,
Carried by the surprise
Of its own unfolding. - John O'Donohue
While people come with whatever is happening in their spiritual life, I do have experience in the following areas:
If you’re interested in either spiritual presencing or financial-spiritual coaching, I offer a free one-hour initial session to help you understand what you are seeking and to discover if we mutually think it’s a good fit.
I speak, conduct workshops and do interviews about financial freedom, reparative economic justice, and gratitude as well. If what I offer interests you, please reach out.